Hey Uncle Scar!
by Crescent Blue
Summary: Mufasa is apparently not weird enough, so the cub's favorite uncle was charged with recouping the losses.
1. Very Impressionable

A/N: I'm trying my hand on a humor one-shot series starring Scar and his "beloved" young nephew Simba. Young Nala will make an appearance too occasionally.

Please enjoy and thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: All characters and related content belong to Disney. No profit is being made except for pure entertainment!

* * *

He was definitely an extremely intelligent lion. There was no doubt of his vocabulary skills, but his troubles lay in the usage of the words at hand.

Scar had recently been lectured by his older brother. Oh how he hated it when Mufasa or Sarabi found some imaginary fault to whine to him about. The most recent offense was his language. Yes, just words. But the words that left his lips seemed to have transcended beyond his nonexistent audience. By nonexistent audience, he meant his nephew, Simba.

The cub was busy playing and chasing butterflies a short distance from where the dark lion was peacefully sunning himself on a rock. The older lion wasn't on any cubsitting duties, he was in one of his rare moods where he wanted some fresh air away from his personal cave. It just so happened that the rest of the pride was out enjoying this perfect day as well. He had overheard an argument between Simba and the other cubs. The uproar was pathetically stupid in his view, but cubs will take issue with any little thing. (This recent case being a tail length contest with Simba allegedly cheating because he purposefully stood over some line that they had marked.) Soon after, Simba wandered over to where his favorite uncle was napping. For once, the jubilant cub didn't pester him while he slept. Scar even dared to feel overjoyed. It was a good day indeed.

That was until a wasp decided to land on his hind leg and sting him out of his bliss. He normally kept his language refined, but situations like these don't call for finesse. He also knew a litany of curse words. He didn't spare anyone's ears.

Simba, startled, hustled off thinking that he disturbed his uncle and was in trouble for it.

So much for the great outdoors.

Later that afternoon, the lion pride returned to Pride Rock. But Mufasa needed to have a word with his brother.

The king informed the younger noble that he needed to mind his tongue around the cubs in the future. They're very impressionable. Unless Scar cursed so loudly that the entirety of the Pridelands heard or the runt had told his parents.

Yes, the runt had told his parents. At the time, Scar didn't notice the absence of his nephew as he was busy grooming the sting site.

Mufasa's censorship rhetoric risked the future generations growing up to be painfully ignorant and overly sensitive. He wouldn't let that happen on his watch.

"Impressionable indeed."

* * *

A/N: Love it? Hate it? (I hope not!)

Thanks for reading!


	2. Tail-Spin

Tails are something that most animals have. They had different uses for their tails depending on the species, but for the most part, it's a feature that's unique to animals.

For many young, including lion cubs, the tail is a plaything. Particularly, Uncle Scar's tail is a plaything.

When he slept, he could feel his tail being squished underneath small paws. When he ate, his tail would lift without his control. When he groomed, his nephew would play tag with it.

It made him want to bite off his tail, but then he'd have permanent issues with balance and depth-perception. He'd also look terribly ugly without it. He'd seen lions who lost their tails in battle or some other violent event and they looked stupid. No, he would never look stupid.

Currently, Simba was pawing at his uncle's flicking tail as the dark lion stared off into the distance.

"You do realize that you have a tail of your own, don't you?"

"Of course I do, but yours is easier to catch!"


	3. Obvious Questions

"Uncle Scar, do you hate Zazu?"

Scar couldn't help the drawn-out eye roll that emanated from that question. The cub didn't see it as he was trying to bury himself in his uncle's ebony mane. Really now? Cubs weren't the brightest bundles, but this was just ridiculous.

"No, Simba, Zazu's just the best thing about the Pridelands. There's no other animal I'd rather be around. In fact, he's just as much fun to be around as you." the dark prince's voice dripping with faux enthusiasm.

"Really? But you're so mean to him." Simba clearly didn't decipher the sarcasm as he perched himself on top of Scar's head. "I'm on top of Mount Scar!" the cub proclaimed laughing at his little game.

The uncle rolled to his side causing Simba to tumble down giggling all the way. "Am I? Why, you must be mistaken."

This cub is the future king and his father isn't teaching him to read vocal cues and sarcasm? For shame.

"Well, Zazu does stink like that." Simba reconsidered while snuggling next to his uncle's head.

Maybe there was hope for the young one after all.

"Yes, he does indeed stink." Scar should've known better but the wheels were turning in his brain. Zazu is always bad-mouthing him whenever they cross paths. His nephew doesn't particularly like the uppity hornbill either. Matter of fact, neither do the other cubs. It was perfect.

"Simba, I think I know a great game for you and your friends to play." Scar couldn't help but chuckle maliciously. Cubs ask obvious questions, but they sometimes give obvious solutions to problems.

"Oooh! Oooh! What is it, Uncle Scar?" Simba excitedly demanded.

Scar's new game would be his and his nephew's little secret. It left Zazu sore and stenchy...and Scar and Simba rather merry.

Mufasa and Sarabi were left wondering why Zazu had disappeared for a few days.

A/N:

So what was Scar's "game"? XD You decide.


	4. Boo-Hoo to You

He had dealt with much bigger hurts than this. He'd almost lost an eye for Great Kings' sake! This situation was nothing.

But here was Simba, bottom lip quivering, tears bubbling, voice whimpering at the entrance of his uncle's cave.

The cub stayed that way for a few minutes. Just staring at his uncle forlornly like he was about to just die a painful, horrific death.

Scar was irritated by this mysterious silence. He didn't have the ability to read minds. He just wanted to get back to sleep.

"What's the matter, nephew?" he asked trying to lace the question with concern and not malice.

"U-u-uncle Scar. I was playing pinge with Nala and *sniffle* she won."

"...And?" this was more important than lounging around because...?

"But she pushed me off a rock and I hurt my paw!" Simba ended with a sob. Nala had been a little overly zealous and truly didn't mean to hurt Simba. But he was mad at Nala. He was also a little embarrassed. He _never_ won pinge against Nala. He really didn't want to disappoint his parents either.

It took all of Scar's willpower to not laugh. In fact, it was about the most difficult thing that he's had to do in a long while. If there's anything that cubs were good for, it was entertainment.

"Now, Simba. I'm sure that *cough* Nala didn't mean it. Roughhousing is normal for you cubs, you know. *cough* Well, Simba *cough* let's have a look at that paw." Scar impressed himself when he had to rein in control of his emotions. The wound, if it could be deemed as such, was a tiny laceration on Simba's right paw pad.

"Why, that's the worst cut that I've ever seen! You're such a tough young lad. I don't know what I'd do if this happened to me." Scar knew perfectly well what he'd do, but there's a certain amount of joy to be had in exaggerating in front of cubs.

Simba beamed at the praise. He was tough. And he'd show Nala how tough he was too. But first...

"Could you lick it to make it better, Uncle Scar?"

Scar forgot that karma took joy in others' suffering too.

A/N:

Anyone remember asking your parents to kiss your "boo-boos" to make them better as a kid? XD


	5. Privacy Please!

It happened every morning to every animal. It was simply expelling the malcontents that their bodies cleansed and filtered while they slept. Or as Scar called it, the morning leak. But this morning, he was having trouble with this simple task. The trouble by the name of Simba. The cub had decided to sleep curled up with him overnight instead of staying with his parents in the royal den.

The slightest motion would awaken the tyke and then the endless hyperness would be sparked into life. No, not this early in the morning. And especially not when he had to do his business.

As carefully as he could, he inched himself to his feet. For once praying that Simba would stay asleep, he was feeling pretty confident that he escaped the cub's hyperactive grasp.

He made his way to an area not too far outside of Pride Rock while admiring the blissful silence and emptiness. It wouldn't do to relieve himself inside of his cave. Who likes sitting in their own wastes besides warthogs? He would only scent mark the outside walls of his cave to ward off any other animal stupid enough to try and claim it when he was away. At least that type of stench served a purpose.

Scar inwardly felt rejoice. He had made it. The dark prince felt ridiculous that such stealth was needed for these things. He never wanted to have cubs. Too much clinginess and responsibility. Better to keep his own affairs in order. However, if he was to become king, he'd need heirs to continue his wonderfully epic legacy. Oh well. He'd figure that out later.

He began the feline ritual of scraping the ground in the spot that he selected and then stooped down with his hind legs...

"Uncle Scar! You were supposed to wake me up!" Simba was heard nearby pouting.

Wake him up for what he didn't exactly know, but darn it all to the pits, couldn't Simba see that he was busier with far more important things at the moment?

He felt his lip curling, fur bristling, and his ears flattening. He looked in the general direction of the voice to scold the boy and...didn't see anyone.

"That brat is haunting my very thoughts!"

A/N:

This was spawned from my babysitting experiences. The babies would burst into the bathroom at the most inopportune moments! XD (You can't leave the door locked because anything could happen and you need to be on alert. True, I could've put them in their cribs at the time, but nature called faster! XD)

Many thanks to the reviewers and faves!


	6. An Unlikely Hero

It was up to him to save the day. The King was occupied with pressing matters. Pressing matters like settling a dispute between the leopards and the cheetahs. Again. Apparently, whoever had the most attractive spots could hunt the plumpest warthogs. Scar sometimes dreaded the thought of ever becoming King. But he cheered himself up, when he's King, such disputes would not be tolerated or even thought of. Mufasa wants ignorant subjects. That is no kingdom to be proud of!

But vain leopards and cheetahs weren't the source of Scar's troubles for the day. No. It was far worse.

Simba and Nala had got themselves stuck on a rock in the middle of a stream. The ebony-maned lion just happened to be passing by while marking territory when he heard their calls for help. The stream wasn't too particularly deep. It was deep enough to wade through on foot for an adult lion, but cubs with their shorter legs had to swim across it.

If he knew his nephew, Simba likely challenged Nala to a swimming contest or race of some type and got themselves into a bit of a mess. It made him chuckle at the similar situations he and Mufasa got into when they were that age.

But what to do? It would be easy to just leave them there. The future King eliminated along with his betrothed. But there was a snag in that plan. His keen sense of smell picked up Sarabi's scent nearby. It was more than likely that she caught his scent as well. If anything happened to the cubs and he was close enough to help, her wrath would be relentless. First rule of the wild: Never piss off a mother animal. Especially a lioness.

A more vain snag was that Scar hated water, excluding for drinking purposes. Yes lions can swim when needed, but the large felines preferred to stay well-enough away from the liquid. Why couldn't these cubs follow that notion?

Scar sighed and creeped towards the edge of the stream. It was rather cold to the touch, but he stepped in and quickly found his footing. He waded through the stream towards the cubs.

"Yes! I knew that someone would help us, Simba!" Nala cheered.

"Duh! And I wasn't the one crying either!" Simba grumbled embarrassed. He was the one who was shedding tears like a waterfall.

"Alright, you two. Stay still for a moment." Scar ordered while planning on how to maneuver the cubs to dry land. He carefully gripped Nala into his jaws and gestured for Simba to climb onto his back. Simba got his piggyback ride after all. The disgruntled uncle 'promised' the young prince a piggyback ride days ago and hadn't fulfilled his 'promise' until now.

"AWESOME! I knew you'd keep your promise!" Simba cheered. Scar rolled his eyes. Simba nearly drowns and a piggyback ride is what his immediate concerns are about? For shame.

Scar only grumbled a reply due to Nala in his mouth.

The extra weight slowed him down a little while crossing back to shore, but it was easygoing. Once they were upon dry land, Simba refused to jump off of his back.

Sarabi, who had just arrived on the scene, looked at Scar with a stunned look which quickly turned into an amused expression.

Scar was glad that he was still carrying Nala in his mouth. He would've said something unclean.


	7. I Don't Need a Girlfriend

"Uncle Scar, why don't you have a girlfriend?"

Simba was as bad as his father. Why were Mufasa and Sarabi so insistent on him starting a family? Simba was joining the bandwagon as well now too!

"It's simple, dear nephew. There aren't enough good candidates for such a thing." Scar replied offhandedly. Well, there was his cubhood crush and ex-lover Sarafina and the outcast, Zira... But that lioness in particular disturbed him somewhat. He adored admiration during the seldom few times that it was given, but he wasn't sure if what Zira portrayed was admiration. It was more like...obsession.

In the realm of beauty, Sarafina won with a runaway victory. In the realm of loyalty, even if it was of an unhealthy type, Zira stole the show. Sarafina and he grew apart once he renamed himself Scar. She had spouted some nonsense about "not recognizing him anymore". Weak Taka was dead and Scar rose from his ashes. Regardless, he was still physically the same lion that they all grew up with. But alas, females are finicky like that. A few years later, Sarafina met some rogue lion, got all snuggly with him, and became pregnant. Thus is the story of Nala's existence.

"Can't you just find a girlfriend that's good for you, Uncle Scar?" Simba persisted. Honestly, where does this little stench find the time for these questions? He should be chasing his tail or something.

"And why, pray tell, does it worry you so much if I do or don't?" Scar countered.

"Because you look so lonely here. You'd be happy like my dad and mom are." Simba beamed. He hated seeing his uncle look so unhappy all the time.

When he was Taka, he would have felt touched. Now that he was Scar, he felt irritated.

"I'm perfectly happy, child. I just don't let it seep from my being like everyone else does." Scar himself felt conflicted at his own lie. His idea of happiness was him ruling the Pridelands, not debating relationships with a cub who was clueless on the matter.

"Really?" Simba snarked with a deadpan stare. Scar nearly laughed. The boy almost looked like him with that expression. He swore DNA had powerful ways of mocking him.

"Yes, really." the uncle returned and flopped over onto his side.

He spent the rest of the afternoon trying to rid himself of these poignant memories brought about by a cub's innocent query.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all so much for your support! It makes me happy!


	8. I Don't Need That Boyfriend

A/N: This little drabble is a continuation of "I Don't Need a Girlfriend". Only this time, Simba and Scar had to take a backseat for this to work. Also, many thanks to GoldenBullet for a plot device tip. :-)

* * *

Sarafina and Sarabi were currently discussing the topic of males. It was a certain male that they were pondering over.

"I really liked his mane. It was so beautifully dark and sleek." Sarafina wistfully conceded to her best friend. "It matched his eyes and fur tone perfectly. But looks aren't everything though. I'm still just so shocked at how much he's deteriorated since he renamed himself. I really don't think that it's even possible for another lioness to love him. She must not care too much for herself if she'd ever got taken in by him."

"Well, Sarafina, I know that you and Scar were together for quite a while when we were much younger. Everyone thought that you two would be the first ones who mated and had cubs." Sarabi added her thoughts into the soiree. "I know that Scar's become painfully aloof, but there may be hope yet if some nice lioness could lift his spirits. At least, that's what Mufasa believes."

"Heh. A nice lioness like Zira?" Sarafina couldn't stand that lioness when they were younger and she willingly forgot about Zira's existence. But now, Sarafina felt as if Zira and Scar were perfect for one another. ' _Power hungry and desperate. I almost feel sorry for them.'_

Sarabi gave off a hum as she digested Sarafina's words.

"Mufasa loves his brother and hates to see him in this apathetic snit. However...well..." Sarabi broke off her observation.

"What's wrong, Sarabi?" Sarafina pried slightly concerned.

"I feel somewhat guilty for saying this, but I feel that Mufasa gives problematic animals too many chances. 'Once bitten, twice shy.' is what my father taught me in regards to those who aren't untrustworthy." Sarabi supplied.

"When you say it like that, I don't feel so bad for leaving Scar now. I didn't like where his heart was going. I couldn't raise cubs with him in that state." Sarafina confessed a bit relieved. "But at least Mufasa has his heart in the right place though. That's your saving grace."

Sarabi smiled and the two lionesses turned their conversation to their experiences of being parents.

Unbeknownst to them, the dark lion had overheard their conversation from underneath the large rock platform of Pride Rock. Hmph. He needed them as much as he needed ticks.

* * *

A/N:

Eh, this chapter was a little bit more serious than I'd originally intended. ^^;

I hope you all enjoyed anyway.

Btw, it is true that lionesses are more attracted to males with darker manes. Males with darker manes have more testosterone than those with lighter-colored manes. It is also believed that dark-maned lions are more aggressive.


	9. Mind Over Matter

"Come on, Uncle Scar! You can totally do it!"

What Simba wanted him to do was take down a buffalo to prove his impressive strength. There was a factual reason why such a request was impossible for him to do alone.

"Uncle Scar, you're my dad's **brother**. You're strong too!" Simba goaded. It mortified the young prince to see his uncle sell himself short.

" _Little_ brother in more ways than one, dear nephew." Scar grumbled. It was the one thing he couldn't lie about or cover up. He'd gotten the short end of the stick _in_ the shallow end of the gene pool when it came to brute strength. Never mind the fact that him being hours younger than Mufasa lost him the right to be King.

To add insult to injury, a group of three hyenas could take down a single buffalo with deadly efficiency and they were smaller than him. He'd witnessed Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed do just that when he'd let them hunt in the Pridelands in secret.

"However, Simba, there is one thing that's greater than strength: the power of the mind." Scar explained. This was also one thing he couldn't lie about: his superior intelligence and wit. Psychological warfare, manipulation, and strategic planning made up for his lack of physical strength.

"Whoa! Really?" Simba breathed in awe.

"Yes. I will demonstrate for you." Scar generously offered.

* * *

Scar took his nephew towards the marshlands. They were stalking a lone buffalo that had wandered from her herd.

"Stay low to the ground. Keep your steps light." Scar instructed as quietly as possible.

The large buffalo hadn't seen nor heard the two lions in the nearby bushes.

"Now, you just stay here and watch the mastermind work." Scar gloated with a smirk.

The lithe lion charged from his hiding place while the cub watched in awe.

The buffalo heard the commotion and launched herself into a full run.

Scar might not be powerful, but he was fast. He herded the buffalo towards a mud pit which was covered by a layer of moss.

The female buffalo saw the mud pit too late and sloshed about in the sticky substance. Her thrashing about pushed her deeper into the pit until only her head and back remained visible.

"You see, Simba? Using your head is often times the best course of action. I have successfully secured a meal without a single injury." Scar smirked in victory.

"But you didn't use your head at all." Simba accused confusedly.

"What do you mean by that?" Scar was equally baffled. Lions weren't the only ones who led their prey into traps in the same manner as he did. There were also rival animals to be concerned about.

"Your head never touched the buffalo, Uncle Scar." Simba explained.

Scar deadpanned. The dunce actually believed that his uncle was going to take down the buffalo with his literal head.

He wasn't about to split his skull open to reassure Simba's doubts.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys! :-)

It's true though. Predators will lead their prey into traps like mud pits.


	10. Down and Out

Cubs did not know the meaning of personal space. That was especially true when one was under the weather. Everything that the dark lion ate made his stomach rebel and churn. He'd been putting off letting that eccentric shaman touch him, but it appears that he now has no choice. This was the third day that he regurgitated his small meals.

Of course, it had to get worse in the manner of Simba and his constant "advice".

"Uncle Scar, please let Rafiki see you." the cub determinedly stated. "You just can't lie around like this."

Scar loved lying around, but for once, it wasn't helping his condition. It was bad enough that Mufasa had also started fussing over him.

"You're telling me everything that I don't want to hear."

"You're worse than me when I get sick." Simba jested. "I know that medicine tastes really bad, but it will help. I promise!"

Being scolded by a cub on the obvious was something that Scar never thought he'd experience.

His rebelling stomach forced him to comply with Simba's demands.


	11. Nursemaid

"Scar, Sarabi and I have a meeting of the utmost importance with the Cheetah Chieftain. I need you to take care of Nala and Simba while we are gone." came the rude awakening courtesy of Mufasa that very morning.

Scar knew that he was the last resort when it came to these things. Sarafina and the other lionesses must be hunting. Just great.

"Where are the little dears?" Scar inquired with saccharine sweetness. He inwardly cringed at his own ploy.

Mufasa, used to such demeanor from his brother, took it in stride. "They're waiting in the den. And don't worry about them being overactive. They're a bit under the weather. Just be sure to administer their medicine as soon as you get there."

Scar nearly grinned with unbridled glee. He thanked the stars for smiling on him for once.

o-o-o-o

The stars had a sick sense of humor for he had caught the same illness the cubs had. He was now the one down and out.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was actually supposed to be the precursor to "Down and Out". XD


	12. The Sing-Off

"Uncle Scar, you can't sing." came an afternoon insult instead of a greeting from his beloved nephew.

"WHAT?!" the dark lion returned angrily. He would NOT be condescended to by one who barely understood the basics of life. He had an _amazing_ singing voice!

"You can't sing that well." Simba repeated as if he just mentioned the most normal thing in the world. "I can't tell if you're singing or speaking."

"I don't want to be mean, Mr. Scar, but Simba's right." Nala backed up her friend in a more polite, corrective manner. "Your voice doesn't carry that well."

"And what do you know about singing at your age?" Scar challenged.

"I sing all the time, Uncle Scar, but you're not around to hear it." Simba pouted. "Nala likes to sing too! Her mom taught me and her!" He really wanted to show his uncle how well he sang one day. He always looked for Scar in the audience when he sang for the Pride, but the dark lion was never there. He and Nala came to his uncle's cave to finally share their talent and caught his uncle singing a tune of his own. Simba tried hard not to cringe. Nala tried to be nice about it.

"Oh really?" Scar murmured. He knew about Sarafina's beautiful singing voice and back when he was enamored with her, he had always been entranced by it. He had serenaded her many times during their many romantic meetings and enjoyed her barely contained giggles. But now he had to wonder if those giggles were her enjoying his performance or trying to disguise her appallment. He hated it when others caused him to doubt his epic greatness.

Scar laid out his ultimatum. "Well, children, let's see how well you can manage your vocal skills."

He should've saw this coming: his nephew decided to sing about becoming king, but what he wasn't prepared for was the amount of beauty and skill in those little voices. It was incredible how their voices expertly blended together in perfect concert! It sounded like an entire chorus was emanating from the cream and golden cubs in front of him.

He heard Sarafina's voice in Nala's. Nala's singing was a direct replica of her mother's.

By the time they were finished, Scar was left speechless. No way. No way at all.

"Well, Uncle Scar, did you like it?" Simba asked eagerly. Nala beamed in pride waiting for their incoming praise.

"Uncle Scar?" Simba queried when he didn't get an immediate response.

"It was...excellent!" Scar praised with barely restrained irritation. "You're both just so musically gifted!"

"Really?" Nala beamed.

Scar nearly rolled his eyes. Why do cubs always ask that obvious question?

"Yes, really." he blearily replied. "But I wonder where you got your talent from, Simba."

"Hmm. I don't really know." Simba answered.

"Your father can't hold a tune either, you know." Scar actually felt good about this for once. It was the one thing that fate hadn't screwed him over with: Mufasa sang worse than he did!

"HAHAHA! Nah, he can't!" Simba agreed heartily.

"Simba! That was so mean!" Nala scolded.

"But my dad really can't sing! He's worse than Uncle Scar!" Simba argued his point.

Somehow, Scar didn't know if he should feel insulted or elated. Simba had just delivered his first complisult.

o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: I was just listening to "Be Prepared" and "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" the other day. Scar's voice is rather flat. :-/ It's not horrible, but just flat. Simba and Nala hold tunes and carry notes wonderfully.

Oh well.

Happy Holidays everyone!


	13. Making Faces

A/N: Before you read this chapter, look up "Flehmen Response". In short, it's a reaction in animals that allows them to fully grasp a new scent. However, the look it produces is adorably hilarious. It's also called "Stink Face".

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

An afternoon stroll should've been a simple thing. The plan: meet with the hyenas, plot, dream about your scheme's success, hunt some zebra, and then finally sleep the remainder of the day away.

That was now near impossible because your older, dunderhead brother ordered you to cubsit his nephew. The aforementioned cub was trotting along side the disgruntled uncle happily pawing at everything - plants, rocks, butterflies, you name it.

Scar rolled his eyes and tried his best to ignore the cub who had sadly brought along his inquisitive mood to annoy everyone.

Simba had stopped by an object that caught his eye. This strange liquid on the ground looked like water, but no water that he knew looked like that. The cub gave it an investigative sniff and shook his tiny head to rid himself of the strange scent. It had an odor to it that he'd never encountered before.

"Wow! That stuff is strong!" Simba exclaimed still shaking his head rapidly to be free of the scent.

"Oh, what is it, Simba?" Scar inquired highly annoyed. "What astounding new discovery have you made?"

"This is the weirdest water that I've ever seen!" Simba replied. "Come smell it!"

Scar lazily traipsed over to the strange pool of colored liquid. His curiosity was dangerously piqued.

He lowered his head to give the weird substance a whiff. His nephew was right. The scent was very strong and very bizarre.

The dark lion opened his mouth, his tongue extended and his nose and eyes were scrunched tight. The scent was too strong indeed. The two lions could hear faint clicking noises in the distance.

Simba was now laughing at his uncle.

"Why did you make that face, Uncle Scar?" Simba asked between the snickers. "You looked so funny!"

"Oh ho, you'll be making the same type of face when you're older. Your little brain hasn't developed that reaction just yet." Scar scolded. "Besides, you should see your father's." The quicker he deflected the conversation, the sooner he could return Simba to Pride Rock.

He could hear Mufasa calling in the far distance. Perfect. His escape was near.

He turned to give the bald apes staring at him with the flashing rocks a snarl and walked off with Simba in tow.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: Inconsiderate tourists dumped some soda onto the ground and "lucky" Scar and Simba came across it. The fizziness of the soda is bound to be strong for the sensitive noses of lions.

Thanks for reading! :-)


	14. The Power of Coward

Scar was a coward. Deep down he knew it, but he would never allow himself to admit the fact out loud. There would be pit to pay if anyone outside of his thoughts accused him of it. (Well, there would be pit to pay if the animal was weaker or smaller than him.)

There were advantages to having superior intelligence, of course. But sometimes, intelligence isn't privy enough to keep one's mouth shut.

His current predicament? An angry rhinoceros staring him down. Scar believed that rhinoceri were actually inverted ground wasps. Their "stingers" were on the nose instead of the backside, their bodies large, but with the same one-track mind when angered.

The rhino chased him for what seemed like miles until they were both inside the gorge. There were nothing but rock walls surrounding them. Scar was exhausted from the prolonged run and he simply didn't have the energy to climb at this point. He was thankful that it wasn't an entire herd of the beasts after him. When you offend one rhinoceros, you offend them all.

To think that it all started with a trip to the Waterhole.

 _His little gnat of a nephew had argued with him about how adults always underestimate cubs and their intelligence. The unimpressed uncle tended to forget his surroundings when in a debate._

 _"Oh please, Simba. Cubs cannot go one day without arguing over some trivial matter that we adults would solve in an instant."_

 _"Nuh uh! We can solve problems on our own too, Uncle Scar!"_

 _"Really now? How come you and Nala came crying to your respective mothers to evenly divide the leftover warthog the other day?"_

 _"Well, you were a stupid cub too, Uncle Scar!"_

 _"Actually, Mufasa was the stupid cub, Simba. He's the one who charged bullheadedly into any situation like an idiotic rhino."_

 _An ensuing enraged snort alerted the elder lion that he wasn't alone during his ultimately childish argument._

The brat actually left him to fend for himself.

Rhinoceri have killed even the strongest of lions in the past. Scar well realized that he didn't have a chance.

The sarcastic lion had three options. One, fight and end up being killed or at the least, severely maimed. Two, try to run once more and get tired out again. Three, apologize and hope for the best.

The thought of apologizing sincerely formed a ball of queasiness in his stomach. He was _never_ wrong about his feelings. He simply stated the truth and no animal likes hearing the truth. Why should he feel guilty about stating unabashed honesty?

But alas, his other options weren't appealing in the least.

Scar swallowed his questionable pride.

"Look, good sir, I am *grunt* truly sorry for my careless outburst. I'm sure you understand that those young'uns can push one to their limits."

The rhino paused to think for a moment.

"They sure can! I can't stand them most times!" Talib agreed.

Scar halted his response. Rhinos didn't forgive this easily either. They usually weren't satisfied until they crushed whatever or whoever dared to affront them.

"Well, we're both adults here and we can work things out civilly. But oh look! Mufasa's on his way here!"

"What? His Majesty? Here?" Talib worried and turned this way and that searching for Mufasa's arrival.

Conversation was also a good way to stall and rebuild stamina. Whilst the rhinoceros was worrying about the supposedly approaching King, Scar began climbing his way out of the gorge. Once he safely reached the top, he smirked at his own cleverness.

There were benefits to being cowardly indeed.

But cowardice sometimes alerted Karma of an injustice. Scar cursed himself for climbing onto the wrong side of the gorge. His trek back to Pride Rock would be a long one.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: Sorry for the long delay in posting chapters. Ideas for this story are not forthcoming. I barely got this little blurb posted!

As always, thanks for the kind reviews!


	15. Perspectives

A/N: Finally, inspiration struck! I haven't abandoned this story. The plot bunnies haven't been active. :-/ But no worries, I won't let this story die. I really feel that this is my best work!

I hope you enjoy!

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Uncle Scar, isn't it awesome that we all live in the Pridelands? Nothing can touch us here!" Simba joyfully listed all of the pleasant things in life all while sitting atop his uncle's head. Scar's silky, black mane was just too comfortable to not bury in.

"Well, Simba, not everyone has that luxury." Scar intoned balefully. "I heard that the hyenas have nothing to live off of other than bare bones."

"But they deserve it Uncle Scar! They're nothing but slobbery, mangy, stupid poachers!"

"Oh? I assume that you know them personally then?" He should've been less rash. There was a chance that the gnat may tell his father. Mufasa wasn't that incompetent that he couldn't piece together the meaning behind this statement.

Simba paused while trying to find a retort and failed miserably. Scar was impressed that his boisterous nephew actually caught onto his sarcasm for once.

"But that's what my dad says! He's always right!"

"Do you think it's 'right' for an entire species to be exiled and starved because their methods are different from ours?" Scar didn't know why he was trying so hard to get his point across to someone he had no love for. He supposed he felt a type of kinship with the hyenas. They were tossed aside and left to rot like he was. He needed to vent.

"Well, no, I guess not. But I'm sure my dad had a good reason for sending them away."

"I'm afraid that your father's beliefs have infected your mind, dear child. You're just as slack-jawed as the rest of them." Scar murmured. No, there would be no molding the cub to his side. Mufasa's ignorant beliefs were too charismatic.

"I don't have a slack jaw, Uncle Scar. I can talk just fine! See?" Simba laughed.

Scar facepalmed. Indeed, it would be up to him alone to save the Pridelands. He was the only lion capable of the job.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: I don't know when I'll post another chapter. I do love this story, but updates will be few and far between though. :-/ Sorry guys!


	16. Depth Perception

A/N: I haven't forgotten about this collection of ficlets! Real life caught up to me and ideas have been running dry. But I won't abandon it as long as I love The Lion King! Thanks to everyone for their support and patience!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The disgruntled uncle had been itching to get rid of many things that he deemed as problems. His dunderhead brother, his little gnat of a nephew, and maybe even the current Pride. He wasn't too sure of the wisdom of this idea. It was true that Zira had amassed a fair amount of Scar supporters, but they weren't nearly as large as Mufasa's Pride. There were the hyenas, but they were another political matter altogether and he wasn't entirely convinced of their loyalty due to their devotion to food. The dark lion couldn't blame them for that notion. What else would they be crazed about? Being banished to the Elephant Graveyard would make anyone salivate over even imaginary food.

But the urgency that Scar felt was on a more personal level. He hadn't had the time to do it in a long while. After all, planning a coup can take up most of one's time. Babysitting one's nephew and his betrothed took up even more time. All Scar wanted to do now was take part in a much needed grooming session. The matted fur, sweat, and dirt were grating on Scar's nerves. He could've just groomed in front of the cubs since that's what everyone else in the Pride did, but Scar was solitary on every level.

Nala and Simba weren't doing anything particularly annoying this time around. They were wrestling with each other and not bothering him. That was fine. He glared at them as if it would make them vanish into thin air. He knew it wouldn't work.

The dark lion flopped onto his other side to avoid seeing them when he heard a continuous clacking noise. Wrestling doesn't cause any clacking noises.

"What. Are. You. Doing?!" Scar snarled not caring if he upset the cubs.

"It won't fit, Uncle Scar!" Simba duly ignored his uncle's irritated tone.

"What won't fit?" Scar inwardly cursed himself for even asking.

"This stick that we found. We're trying to build a pretend Waterhole back here." Nala vaguely informed the fuming adult lion.

Oh Great Kings above...He'd have to get up and see what the trouble was. He hated getting up for stupid reasons. And for a stick of all things...

Scar sauntered sulkily over to the two cubs. The heir to the throne was trying to push a large branch through a rather narrow end of the cave. The runt had the branch angled vertically.

Why did they have to build their fraudulent Waterhole in _his_ den? He wanted to watch the pathetic spectacle. A vertical object would never fit into a space much smaller than it.

He watched as Simba turned the branch to a horizontal position. He couldn't help the amused snort that escaped him.

"Uncle Scar, why won't it go in? It's smaller than the hole!"

' _The size isn't the problem, it's the angle. But even if they did manage to get the branch in there, the area of the cave is too small for all of them to fit! Stupidity can be great entertainment!'_ Scar nearly blurted his thoughts aloud.

"You're a smart kid, Simba. I'm sure you'll figure something out. Show me what you can come up with!"

Faked enthusiasm is amazingly effective when used on cubs. He still wanted to groom, but the show being put on in front of him was too good. His fur could wait.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed! :-)


End file.
